


Scared (of falling alone)

by sammyspreadyourwings



Series: Queen Prompts [14]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Early Work, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Insecurity, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 01:45:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18110735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammyspreadyourwings/pseuds/sammyspreadyourwings
Summary: Queen has a good thing going, but they all need to be on board.





	Scared (of falling alone)

**Author's Note:**

> Another post from tumblr.

Love, Brian is finding, is this messy fragile thing. It’s not any less beautiful than he imagined, but it is different than he imagined. Growing up it was always a pattern of a soft incidental meeting, fun dating, a charming wedding, and then the pit-pat of children steps. Not the situation he’s found himself in at all.

Freddie, John, and Roger all figured themselves out only a few months after they started recording the album. Brian’s never hid the emotions, but he hasn’t committed himself to them yet. His greatest fear is that they do this, and it doesn’t work out. All he has is a bachelor’s in physics and a homemade guitar and Queen. Although, with how long and often he stays out of the house, he might be killing it himself.

He cuts his study session at the library session two hours short and heads home at a semi-reasonable time of nine at night.

The house is hazy with smoke. It’s Friday, and apparently, the others decided to stay in. It changes Brian’s plans a little, but if he can make it to his room without much conversation, he can finally let himself think everything through.

“He does remember he lives here,” John remarks dryly.

Brian figures he deserves that.

“Yeah, I’m caught up on everything. Thought you lot would’ve gone out?”

Freddie twirls a hand, “we would’ve but then we would never have this conversation.”

He almost suggests that never having it would be preferable. Although, he’s noted the careful distance between the other three, and he has a vague idea that this is all four of them or nothing.

Brian steps into the living room, and it feels like there is a guillotine over his head. The other three are watching him warily. John gestures towards a chair, and Brian slowly walks over to it. Not enough to make it look like he’s obviously dragging his feet but to mark his protest to this conversation. He doesn’t know why he’s protesting it in the first place.

Is it because he doesn’t know what he wants? Although it’s not like he didn’t have enough time to think about it. He just didn’t want to.

“We have to talk about where we want this to go. If we want this to happen,” Freddie continues.

“Which we do,” Roger blurts.

Brian arches an eyebrow.

“But we can’t do this without you, it doesn’t feel right,” Freddie again takes over explaining.

“I don’t know,” Brian sighs, “I do have feelings for you three, but I don’t know how this would work.”

“There doesn’t have to be a how just that it does.”

“I know that’s how you live your life, Fred, but I don’t know if I can just do this. If we don’t work out or if Queen doesn’t work out, I don’t know if the other part of the dynamic can survive with both.”

Roger rolls his eyes, “Brian we’re good. You know we’re good. It’s just a matter of time that others figure it out and get on board.”

“And what about us and this… relationship?”

“It’s not a dirty word, Brian,” John replies.

“I didn’t say it was.”

“You said it like it was one.”

Brian huffs, “well I’m sorry I like to think thing through rather than just listen to my dick.”

“That’s unfair,” Freddie replies, “and you act like a dick frequently enough that it’s practically the same.”

“Right.”

“Brian, this involves all of us,” Freddie softens his voice, “we can’t do this without you.”

“Don’t put this all on me, and you can. You all seem willing enough.”

There’s a sharp hurt behind his lung that he wasn’t aware of. Apparently, he’s dug out a secret insecurity of his. The longer he stays out here, the more it’s going to try and claw its way out. He’d much rather lick his wounds in private and think this through on his own like he originally planned.

Brian stands and heads towards his room. The others don’t follow him, which he’s grateful for. His window is still open, from letting in the early morning air. He crawls out to the little balcony which is meant for plants rather than a person, but he found that as long as he keeps his legs in his room, he can sit and stare at the stars.

Well as few stars as he can see in the middle of the London light pollution. He can faintly make out the summer triangle and he wonders what it’s like to have something as constant as the points in the constellation.

Brian manages to get lost in his musing and jumps when Roger joints him. Roger squints up at the sky.

“What’s so interesting up there?”

“Stars, it's light that’s millions of years old and we’re seeing it for the first time tonight.”

Roger hums, “millions of years old, hm?”

Brian nods and continues picking out other starts. Venus is gleaming bright.

“Do you remember the night we talked about starting this?”

Brian squints, “I think it was one of the few times you lot talked me into smoking with you.”

Roger frowns, “is that all you remember?”

“Everything is fuzzy, so it’s about the only clear thing I know.”

“Oh,” Roger looks up at the sky again, “You know we could last, you said so, didn’t you?”

It sounds like Roger is having his own conversation. Brian purses his lips.

“What did I say?”

“That you’d give up the stars for us,” Roger sighs the words, “not that we’d ask you to, but that’s practically a marriage proposal coming from you.”

Brian looks at Roger. The street light from below is giving him a heavily shadowed face, but it only seems to make his eyes glow more. He looks beautiful and Brian is breathless.

“I stand by that. I’ll be fully dedicated to Queen.”

“Why can’t you be fully dedicated to us?”

Brian jumps at John’s sudden voice. He looks through the window as also sees Freddie. He wonders how long they’ve been there. Probably since Roger joined him.

“I could be, maybe, I just haven’t thought about it, and I’m worried about what would happen if we didn’t work out.”

“Brian, we can’t plan for everything,” Freddie says, but this time it doesn’t come across as condescending.

He feels a hand go around his, “we should try this though, we could be amazing.”

Brian turns his hand and taps his fingers against John’s.  They mimic chords for a couple of seconds, mostly in sync with a private song.

“I want to, but I’m just worried I’ll fall too hard.”

Freddie sticks his head out of the window, “we’ll be there with you Brimi.”

He doesn’t doubt that. There’re so many reasons that this would be a bad idea, but the few good reasons are more compelling. Brian trusts them, with everything, including his heart, so he may as well give it to them.

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always leave your thoughts and comments below! Come talk to me on Tumblr!


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